Eating my addiction away.....

It all started when I quit smoking. Sure, it's true that I effectively won my war against nicotine on what was roughly the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. In fact, I've almost made it 8 full weeks without a smoke.

Unfortunately, the 11th was not the "War to End All Wars" for me and, thanks to Pfizer's advice not to worry about eating too much while using Chantix, I have swollen up to what I am guessing is over 170 lbs. The Taco Bell people are starting to recognize me and I have drank a local liquor store out of two of my favorite brands of beer.












"You gonna eat that?"

I'm about 5'6" (maybe 5'7" on an especially proud day) which means my Body Mass Index (BMI) is somewhere between 26.6-27.4...if my weight guess is correct. That puts me smack dab in the middle of the "overweight" category and dangerously close to the "obese" range.

There are some people who argue about the usefulness of the BMI. They point out its inability to differentiate different body types. If I was a body builder, for example, my massive rippling muscle weight would put me into the obese category...there are even some plump folks who are permanently chubby and in great health, regardless of what some silly chart says.













Of course, the people making those arguments are almost certainly fat, lazy, and unwilling to heed the advice of their doctor...or, you know, they argue that some glandular issue combined with their large frame and asthma makes it hard to lose...blah blah blah.

Luckily, Pfizer makes a variety of medications that keep blood coursing through the overburdened arteries of the obese. That makes it a perfect solution for fat people who want to live the long life of a much healthier person without the unnecessary hassle of doing shit.














I have no qualms about taking pills...I wouldn't even mind dying a little bit younger than most, but I sure as hell am not comfortable with some fucking scientist calling me fat.

I don't like it one bit...but judging from the fact that the profile of my body resembles that of a small breasted woman who is 5 months pregnant, "overweight" sounds a bit too nice.

...next up, pictures and an official weigh in! Plus, I begin choosing an exercise regimen and diet plan.